The House Ten

Spring is upon us. Flowers are blooming, birds are singing and grass is growing. This week's list: The Top Ten Signs You Have to Mow Your Lawn:

10. It's more overgrown than Don King's hair.
9. Your neighbors are confusing dandelions in your yard with sunflowers.
8. A documentary crew arrives at your door, ready to film a show titled "Life on the Savanna."
7. You can only see your swimming pool from a second story window.
6. Your kids' jungle gym is actually surrounded by a jungle.
5. Bluegrass singers have dedicated your yard as the official symbol of their genre.
4. The grass is controlling the sprinklers now.
3. Crop circles have mysteriously begun forming in backyard.
2. You've hired a wilderness guide to lead you from your backdoor to your garage.
1. The EPA has declared your yard a "tick refuge."